Hello, I’m Lindsay, I have five boys, one girl, a husband, 2 puppies, and anxiety. As my Instagram profile states, I know. I’m busy. I know.
My photography journey really started when I joined Instagram about 8 years ago (has it been that long already?!) . I started out pretty rocky, to say the least, but once I discovered feature pages, I really started paying attention to photographic elements and started putting thought in to what, why, and how I was taking pictures. I got my Nikon about a year after that, but it took quite a bit of time for me to really figure out what I was doing and even longer to learn how to edit (and… I’m still learning!)
My life is pretty chaotic on it’s own, and with my anxiety, I often feel as though things are spiraling. I have discovered that taking pictures helps ground me. First off, it serves as my creative outlet. When I am feeling inspired and I am creating is when I am at my best.
More than being a creative outlet, photography helps me focus on the good in otherwise hectic and sometimes crummy days. Pulling out my camera helps me zero in and find pockets of good. I can find beauty amongst the chaos and sometimes within the chaos. It is taking pictures of the mess and embracing it instead of allowing it to consume me. It’s finding the humor in my toddlers climbing on the table at snack time instead of being enraged by it (my anxiety more often than not presents as extreme anger- often as a gross overreaction as anxiety isn’t logical). It’s letting them be little instead of whatever unrealistic exception I may have in my head.
Photography draws my attention to the stories I want to remember. Through my lens, I can focus on the fun and adventures we are having and not the stressful moments that come along with taking 6 kids places. We always knew we wanted a large family, and one thing we said from the beginning, was that we weren’t going to let our large family be the reason we didn’t do things. So we take our kids places and we do the things. And it is hard. Even trying to get everyone out the door can be an exhausting process, but it is important to us that our kids have memories of going on adventures. I try my best to capture these adventures, to help preserve the memories. I think to some people being behind the camera makes them feel disconnected from what is happening, but for me, it brings me in and puts me in the moment. Without my camera, I get distracted by all the outside stuff and get bogged down by the stress. Plus… then we have documentation that we survived the things and had a bit of fun too.
Taking pictures lets me hold on to the details I never want to forget. These moments are fleeting, and when the days are long (and boy, are some days long) I find my self wishing bedtime would hurry up and get here. I often feel like Adam Sandler in the movie Click wishing for the next stage so things can be easier. The next stage comes and things get easier but things also get harder. I have somewhat recently started focusing on the details I wish to remember. The details help me hold on to the good in our current stage. And, oh my, how I love me some feet.
Photography brings me perspective and calms my crazy. The crazy that is happening in life and in my head. It brings be joy during my darkest days. It helps me be a better me and a better mom.